Teacher of the Year by Joe David
WASHINGTON, DC – Fabian University Press published this fall a 400-page research paper entitled Perversion and Your Child. The author responsible for this ground-breaking research report is Horace Mann High School Sex Educationalist Erda von Schwantz. Critics who are familiar with her work believe Miss von Schwantz’s book will significantly influence the way professionals view children. Her paper, “The Little Known Secrets Your Child Keeps Buried,” which appeared several years ago in the prestigious American Public School Journal for the Affirmation of Pedagogic Integrity, brought a storm of excitement upon publication. Her premise that “most teenagers find traditional sexual activity abnormal” made national headlines. In Perversion and Your Child, the author identifies over 50 disorders, including bestiality and necrophilia, that she found to be common among teenagers with hyper-active libidos. The former Rhodes Scholar attributes adolescent deviation to what Sigmund Freud referred to as polymorphous perversity. “In an unrelenting search for ways to gratify basic sensory needs,” she writes, “the adolescent crosses over at an early age to what clinical psychologists identify as socially forbidden areas of experimentation.” In Perversion and Your child, Schwantz offers a definitive solution to such deviation among high-risk teenagers, “To prevent this social crisis from spreading in our schools,” the outspoken sex educationalist writes, “we must institute immediately a mass sterilization program.” This well-researched book, generously funded with government grants, is being seriously discussed in leading universities throughout America as a solution to reducing sexual misconduct amongst students. Erda von Schwantz is a fictitious character in Joe David’s outrageously funny play, Teacher of the Year. Reviewers have referred to the book, from which the play is adapted, as “unique fun, startling” (Jennifer Stephens, WXCD-FM); “a good read” (Bob Madigan, WTOP-Washington); “a madcap, often twistedly comic satire” (Sam Weller, New City Newspaper, Chicago); and “wonderfully humorous...with serious messages about teaching and education” (Mike Bowler, Baltimore Sun).